Showing posts with label netflix. Show all posts
Showing posts with label netflix. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

15 Things No One Tells You About Chronic Pain As A 20-Something

Syndicated from Huffington Post.

This was originally published on The Mighty, a site that finds the strength, joy and beauty in disability and disease.

1. Sometimes you feel like a lab rat/medical experiment gone awry.

"House M.D." doesn't even begin to cover all the weird treatments and experiments you've undergone to aid your health. Your "medical team" becomes the people you know and hear from most.

2. The idea of going out and maintaining a normal 20-something social life is laughable.


Think you're going out for a few drinks tonight? Oh wait, you can't because of your specific diet, medications you're on, etc. Friends may be disappointed. You may be bored (really bored). Netflix will be your bestie, don't worry.

3. Some people are really open and kind about your chronic pain. Some are just the worst.
Explaining your chronic illness truly becomes an art. You read their body language and take their past experience and personality into consideration before divulging your illness. Then, usually, it's a game of 21 questions.

4. There are good days and bad days.


Good days and bad days depend on a lot of the perpetuating factors you may have. Some days, I'm good enough to take a day trip to go shopping and other days, showering is a legitimate goal if you can make it out of bed.

5. You become your own doctor/pharmacist/advocate.

Doctors can make mistakes sometimes. I double-check all of the interactions of my drugs when I'm prescribed new drugs to make sure I'm not going to accidentally kill myself. Do your research. Many of the things that work for me now consisted of a series of trial-and-error combinations of medicine and therapies.

6. With chronic pain comes new and different priorities and limitations.

The way I best describe any given day is that my life is like an iPhone battery, and I'm on energy-saving mode. Everything from cooking, to getting dressed, to going out to eat, to working take a little (or a lot) of battery. Some things I used to love to do are just not worth it anymore.

7. Chronic pain is a full-time job.


I'm not kidding. If I could show you my calendar, between all my specialists, I have on average about four doctor's appointments weekly. Half of them are usually out of town -- meaning they're out of state. I also, on a monthly basis, get acupuncture, chiropractic work, Reiki, massage, trigger point injections and see a personal trainer (who specializes in chronic pain) twice a week to weight train. If something pops up out of nowhere and everything needs to be rescheduled, I'm on the phone for sometimes hours rearranging appointments.

8. Certain foods become your best friends.

When my pain was at its worst about a year ago and I had no medication to help my pain, all that could comfort me was mashed potatoes and ice cream. Turns out, mashed potatoes and ice cream are not a cute look for my body and with my physical limitations, cooking healthy food for myself and exercising is much more challenging.

9. Sleep, above all, is key.

Seriously, if I get no sleep the night before, my whole day and body goes to sh**. Getting enough sleep is worth it.

10. Maintaining a love life? LOL.



I haven't even begun to crack the chronic pain code on this one. I have no answers here.

11. Get a pain guru.

Having someone close who's been through the ringer with everything you're dealing with is so helpful. Anytime I call her frustrated about something, she has five to 10 different solutions I never thought of. My pain guru happens to breed puppies. Speaking of which, puppies are just about the best therapy you can have, so get those, too. Nothing feels better than lying in a pile of puppies.

12. You will have haters.

Send donations in their honor to your favorite chronic pain charity.

13. A few people will be inspired by you, a few people may feel too sad to even be around you and a few people may slit your tires when they see you in handicapped parking with a handicapped tag.

The tire thing didn't personally happen to me, but it did happen to someone I know. Don't forget, just because you can't see an illness doesn't mean it's not there! Don't be those people.

14. Silver lining: you get to watch every show you ever missed out on and try a lot of hobbies you never thought you'd have time for.

Hobbies I've started since medical leave: learning French on Rosetta Stone, writing, flower arranging, pottery, painting/sketching, jewelry design, puppy socializing, volunteering at a pit bull rescue, cooking, baking and reading.

15. Chronic pain has forced me to see the world in a different way. It has forced me to embrace all of my vulnerabilities and genuinely be a better person. Ironically, because of my chronic pain, I am now finally able to do exactly what I always dreamed of.


Wednesday, July 23, 2014

21 Generic Tips That May Seem Obvious, But Are Worth Stating

Hindsight is always 20/20.

  1. You are not as medically incompetent as you think and doctors are not as smart as you think (or give them credit for). I cannot stress this enough. Not that all people should be diagnosing themselves or that all doctors are total idiots, but there is usually some fine line between the two. I spent a lot of time not second guessing what doctors were telling based on the sheer fact "that they're doctors". Through my own personal experience, it seems like (just like any other human on this planet) they make mistakes too and more frequently than you'd expect. 
  2. Don't believe everything everyone tells you. A lot of extra stress had been added to my life based on comments or suggestions completely random people had to say about what I should be doing, side effects that I could be getting from drugs I was taking, etc. For example, one person had innocently and casually said to me that a friend of a friend he knows takes thyroid medication and it made them lose all of their hair. I panicked. I thought "Great, I'm going to be on thyroid meds the rest of my life and also have no hair." I love my hair. While that's not necessarily untrue, it never happened to me which is shocking because I end up with a lot of really obscure side effects. Actually I think between taking the Biotin supplements that I do (awesome) and blow drying/styling my hair less, I would be bold enough to say that my hair has flourished and never looked better. Thanks, thyroid meds! Another innocent person told me once and was thoroughly convinced that if I just stopped eating dairy and meat completely (and did nothing else), all of my problems would just dissipate. Well innocent person, you are just an idiot (and I don't feel bad if you eventually stumble upon this blog and realize you were the one that said the dumbest thing I've ever heard.).
  3. Take peoples' opinions and comments with a grain of salt. Nine of ten people don't know what they're talking about and if they don't have chronic pain or are actively taking care of someone with it, they probably have no idea what you're going through. I've spent more time than I should fuming over the general public's naive reaction to my situation. (Hence the blog.) 
  4. Make an excel document of all the doctors you see, their diagnosis, the prescriptions they prescribe, any adverse effects from the drugs and the date. When you end up seeing 3509486043 different doctors and trying 43059803498609 meds, you start to forget everything you take, who you saw and for what. (Smart) doctors will be able to analyze all the categories of drugs you generally don't do well with and can think out of the box enough to prescribe you something you are less likely to get a reaction from. Also, save any/all x-ray/MRI images and reports from everything into one document. 40 page questionnaires become much easier to fill out when you're not running around like a chicken with your head cut off looking for that one MRI analysis of your neck from NYC nine months ago. That took 7 months to figure out for me. 
  5. Look into shit yourself.  Again with the doctors, if they diagnose you with something, always look into it yourself. Look into the drugs they're prescribing you and the interactions they could have with other drugs you're taking. 
  6. Don't be afraid to voice your opinion, especially to a medical professional. If anyone can imagine, I used to be pretty meek when it came to listen and following the instructions of medical professionals. (Lol) Generally, the results were unfavorable and not always necessarily thought through. If your doctor tries to prescribe you something that you don't feel like you should be taking, a treatment you don't agree with, PT exercises that you feel like might give you more pain, say something. I have altered my doctors' plans many times and periodically called them out for missing something. By the time I saw the rheumatologist (hypermobility "specialists"), I knew more about it than she did. Her resident didn't even know that was something that rheums were supposed to take care of. Take that, med school. 
  7. This goes to say that you know your condition better than anyone, so go with your gut and best judgement when it comes to making decisions. Generally once you have chronic pain, you know what triggers it, what you can handle, what feels okay and what doesn't. Don't let people push you into something you're uncomfortable with. 
  8. Try not to cry in public. This was hard for me, but if you cry in front of a doctor, it will never help with your "I promise I'm not crazy" case. As much as you can, try to keep it together. 
  9. Be prepared to ask questions, a lot of them. When you anxiously wait 6 months for an appointment with a specialist, you need to be prepared and make your appointment worth your while. I researched things and made a note in my phone with all the questions in the world I could possibly think of that I may need to ask. The doctor may answer all your questions before you even get to them, but I have a really bad memory so I need to write everything down just in case. 
  10. Periodically write down a description/keep a journal of your pain. Like I said before, I've repressed a lot of shit from the last year or so and at one point completely forgot that this pain I'm having now was only in my neck. The only way I remembered was because I was looking at an old email I had sent complaining to a pain specialist I was seeing in New York at the time. 
  11. Find things that interest you for distraction. Granted, if you are having really bad pain there is probably little to nothing you can actually focus on to distract you, but do it if you can! Maybe the one silver lining to being stuck in bed is that I got to binge on a lot of TV shows I never had time to watch before. I've probably watched 90% of the documentaries on Netflix and seen every Bob's Burger and Family Guy episode 100 times each. I also played with puppies and am learning French (usually too much effort to do for a general pain day, but it's something). To desperately try to stay relevant in my field, I try to read Women's Wear Daily (industry paper) every few days to stay in the loop. When I was having a really good day, I would usually just bake or cook because I love it (even if it hurts.) I am also embarrassingly ridiculously into Pinterest and it has been an incredible helpful tool to stay creative (and look at pretty stuff), find good recipes, online shops and good information about most things in general. Puppy photoshoots are also incredibly fun and entertaining. 
  12. Take pictures of medical stuff (ie. allergic reaction rashes, etc.) to show doctors. You will get your point across 10x faster when you have an up close and personal shot of a bunch of hives covering your entire face showing him instead of telling him. Nothing like a rash selfie, really. 
  13. Be very nice to nurses and office secretaries. Those people have more power than you think. Trust. You will thank me for this later. Also, if you are waiting an insane amount of time for an appointment, feel free to be that annoying person that calls to remind them that you are in pain and wondering if they have any cancellations. Somewhere between the guilt and the harassment, they will find a way to get you in faster. Actually, today I just sent Dr. Gerwin's nurse a picture of my puppy, Sophie, because I told her I would and she loves that shit. (Puppies are a crucial part of the operation.) Furthermore, most people that are in pain are usually (understandably) cranky, so it is a breath of fresh air for someone who is actually nice to them. 
    This picture landed in my Hopkins-top-national-specialist nurse's inbox today. 
    1. It never hurts to ask. No one gets anywhere if they don't ask for it. If you're waiting for a long time at a doctor's office and can't bear the thought of sitting anymore, tell the nurse and usually they'll let you lay down in an exam room. 
    2. Listen to Mariah Carey. This is mostly just ironic but not really. In my most dramatic moments, "Through the Rain" was my go-to sad song. (I'm convinced I was a gay man in a past life.)
    3. Don't be afraid to make suggestions. Half of the things that ended up working for me were things that I researched that never occurred to doctors before I made the suggestions. (Ie. "If x drug isn't strong enough, can I just take y drug with it so it actually has some effect on me?") Also, make friends with your pharmacist. Instead of waiting on hold 4,000 hours for a doctor, it's usually much faster and easier to get ahold of them and they know more than you think. 
    4. Be open minded. I was initially pretty stubborn about trying new things, mostly because it always backfired on me and I hated the idea of injections but that is pretty much the only reason I am where I am today. 
    5. Think through decisions. Don't do anything irrational because you are temporarily trying to make your insane pain go away. Like I said in a past post, bad pain can cause you to make a lot of illogical justifications for things and make you desperate enough at some points to really try anything. My point is don't do it. And never trust Yahoo Answers. 
    6. If something seems or feels strange, it probably is. If you start randomly throwing up a lot or getting rashes or whatever it may be, it is probably not just coincidence. Almost every time I've looked into shit, there was always a much bigger problem behind it. (ie. I used to think I was just "naturally nauseous", decided to look into it and went to a gastroenterologist a few years ago. I found out I had really bad acid reflux and esophagitis…which I later found out is a symptom of Joint Hypermobility Syndrome. Damn you, JHS.) 
    7. Try to be as understanding and sympathetic as you can for your caretakers. Whoever is taking care of you is a godsend. It probably sucks almost as much for them as it does for you. Sometimes these people need a break (I used to be offended by this notion) but you need to let them take one. Remind them how much you appreciate them!
    8. Manage your expectations. For the first 6 months, I kept thinking "In 2 months, I'll be perfectly better and back to work!" all the time. By doing that, I was setting myself up to be disappointed. Once I accepted what was happening to me, that even once I'm truly better, I will have my own "new normal" and that is finally okay with me. 


    Monday, July 21, 2014

    The Best/Ingenious/Go-to Products for the Chronically Ill

    Some things I always think about (that never get less maddening):
    1. If I had done, knowing what I know now, to help myself-- see the right doctors, follow the right treatments, I probably would've been better in 7 months.  Think about that. If I had known all these things from the very beginning with all the resources I have now, life would've been a hell of a lot easier.  (Not so fun story: one day at Dr. Gerwin's, I had found out from a nurse that the person he had seen just before me was just diagnosed with exactly what I had, but in a very unfortunate turn of events, had not been properly diagnosed/has been dealing with this for FIVE years. FIVE! I cannot fathom what my general hatred towards the world would be if I had this for five years without knowing what it was.) 
    2. For the all the useless shit that exists on the internet, there are no legitimate "go-to" sites about things to do to treat your pain unless you stumble upon a sketchy Yahoo Answers page from six years ago with a lot of people who don't know what the hell they're talking about.
    3. When information is known and helpful, it should be shared with others in an easily accessible and public way that don't include sketchy forums. (Not everyone is fortunate enough to see a top national specialist, which is part of the reason I feel compelled to share.) 
    4. Not only are there no really helpful websites about things to try to do to help with pain-- there are even far less about things to purchase and products that are helpful to a person with chronic illness. 
    So, I have compiled a list of products that have saved me over the course of a year and half that, through trial and error, have proved to be nothing but essential to my recovery. Also, it has been made known to me that I have an "unhealthy obsession" with "products" in general. Seriously, never take me to Target. I will find ways to entertain myself for hours and spend all of your money. Enjoy!

    SLEEP

    Mattress: First of all, I don't care what anyone says, if you have chronic pain, sleeping problems and plan on (whether you like it or not) being in a bed for long periods of time/days on end, you need a good quality, comfortable mattress. Prior to my disability, I had been using the same mattress since freshman year of high school. During my disability, I managed to get myself to Sleepy's Mattresses in NYC. I don't think my mattress is on the market anymore but I love my mattress. It is a Sealy Posturepedic "Hybrid" mattress that is half gel memory foam with a cooling top and bottom springs wrapped in more foam (or something). This was supposedly one of the best I could do (mattress wise) to support my back but was still supremely comfy without being too firm or stiff.

    **Tip: if you are experiencing severe pain, on disability from work and are relatively into bargaining work these things into your advantage. I am a true believer that price is always up for bargaining (because I am Jewish/in retail) and you use the chips that are given to you even if they suck. Like usual to anyone who knows me, this mattress was naturally several thousand dollars out of my parents  budget given to me. The sales associate was playing games with me and I was not in the mood. He finally let me call the DMM (for all you non fashion people, district merchandising manager) for the Manhattan region and after unleashing some self pity and explaining my situation, I actually convinced the DMM to let me purchase the mattress a few hundred dollars above their wholesale price. I told him my mom needed to try it out at a local Sleepy's in Pennsylvania and we would purchase it when she had the time. (They love throwing you a "discounted rate for the next 24 hours" kind of deal to pressure you.) My mom went to go test out the mattress a week later and purchased it.  The sales manager there asked her if I was in sales because he had never seen any product move through the floor that heavily discounted. Moral of the story: milk it and you will have yourself to thank for a comfortable night.

    Body Pillow: The idea of these didn't even occur to me until the middle of the summer and I think it has become one of the most essential aspects of getting sleep. Sleep is the key to being trigger point free. Trigger point free is the way to a happy Erica.  Thanks to Hammacher Schlemmer's "Total Body Support Pillow" I was sleeping much more soundly. This thing has been wrapped in every way you can imagine for all my newly acquired strange sleeping positions and supports my whole body while I sleep. One not so great thing to mention, with the high level of usage this pillow gets, the polyester/"cotton blend" (I have my doubts) cover is not soft or of good quality. Because I work in textiles and am relatively sensitive to everything, (my dad calls me "delicate princess"), my mom and I bought a light, soft but durable flannel fabric and actually made a cover for it. Much better, the princess can sleep soundly (as much as humanly possible).

    Doesn't she look happy?
    SHOWER/PERSONAL HYGENE:

    So, I'm just going to go ahead and say (and this really is the shit nobody tells you when you have chronic pain), but when you are having bouts of severe pain for days on end, priorities get weird and things that would normally be important to you are not so much anymore. Things like showering, when you're barely moving or seeing other people aside from your parents, are not a priority anymore. This is especially true when you are already too dizzy to stand, sitting is painful, bending over is a fucking joke and your bathtub (if you are so lucky to have one) is not ginormous/full of jets.

    Dry shampooBatiste Dry Shampoo is honestly a god damn life saver, in more ways than you'd think. First off, it did what it is supposed to (little things do these days), making me not look like a homeless person, covered up any potential smells of sadness and (AND!) sprayed my perpetually natural light blonde roots back to  my desired hair (and heart) color at the time, black. Lots of pain = not being able to consistently see your hair colorist, resulting in the periodic misfortune of looking like a crack whore.

    Shower Chair: I accept the notion that I may get made fun of for actually admitting this, but shower chairs are where it's at. Once I finally broke down and bought the AquaSense Adjustable Bath and Shower Chair with Non Slip Comfort Seat and Backrest (I feel like a TV infomercial, but I promise you I own all these things and they do work for me.) life became a lot easier for me. It may take away any dignity I had left for myself, but it is honestly so fucking helpful. The idea of shaving became a real thing for me, guys. I didn't feel like an animal anymore. And, when you have pain, timing and efficiency is everything. One less step or extra movement gives me the ability to hurt less and potentially get more done. That is how I plan my life now. I particularly enjoy this chair because this thing has notches on the side, where I can stick my razor instead of leaning over to get it. I'm not kidding, efficiency is everything here, people.
    Luxury 

    Spray Body Lotion: Another dumb little innovation that seriously makes all the difference. With all the  eczema and weird rashes I was getting from drug reactions, sometimes I would forgo using lotion due to bending and excessive movement. (Yeah, I said it--too much work to use lotion. My life, man.) I use Vaseline Spray and Go Moisturizer in Total Moisture. Also, it's not runny or greasy. Me gusta.


    Surf Spray and Straightening Balm: Like I said, efficiency is key. If I managed to make it through a shower, I was usually having too much pain to actually do my hair after. Actually, it's hard to remember the days when my hair was done. (If you know me, this is unusual because my hair is always done, no matter what.) Putting this stuff in my hair and blow drying it for about 2 min (because generally that was all I could stand) was my go-to thing for the past year. It almost made me look like I tried a little. I use Goldwell Flat Marvel Straightening Balm and Bumble and Bumble Surf Spray.




    Body Bronzing Spray: This is a relatively new development for me. Sometimes, when you can't remember the last time you stepped outdoors, you look it. Since I am naturally "alabaster" (as mother sweetly likes to call it), I am easily susceptible to looking much sicker than I actually am (or as sick as I am) and ghostly. It is particularly alarming during the sweet summertime when most people are actually "sun kissed" looking. Since chronic pain/invisible illness can sometimes be a paradox ("you don't look sick", but then you do and then you go out of your way to really try not to), bronzer is a really nice way to mislead everyone or at least make me look a little more alive. I love this bronzer because it is really healthy looking, doesn't "melt" off my body or make me look orange. Bonus, it also applies evenly thanks to the pad it comes with and I can put it on my face. Thanks, LORAC TANtalizer Body Bronzing Spray.



    MEDICAL STUFF:

    Organized Pill Box: When you are trying several medications and permanently on several medications/supplements, shit starts to get confusing. (An hour before food, directly after eating at breakfast, 1 hour before bed with food, right before sleeping, every four hours..FUCK.)  Also, it's a nice indication when you have so many to keep track of to know when you're running out. When you plan for the week, it's easier to figure out who the fuck you have to track down to get another prescription for it. I use this pill box and it works fine, but I wish I had one that was even MORE organized (I am a little OCD sometimes).


    Shot Bloks: This was initially also a stumper, but now I never leave the house without them/they are always in purse. Like you've read, I've had my fair share of dizziness due to trigger points and very low blood pressure (a symptom of Joint Hypermobility Syndrome). I've been told by numerous doctors and a dietician, it is important to keep salt in my diet to try and keep the dizziness at bay. These little Clif Shot Bloks taste like pure margarita ass, but they actually help because they are chock full of salt. If I'm having a dizzy spell, I can usually pop 3 in my mouth (begrudgingly) and can get through it. I think they're made for serious hikers and athletes; I find irony in that.



    Glucose Tablets: Another dumb thing I'm supposed to carry around now is Dex 4 Glucose Tablets . According to my doctor and a lot of articles online, trigger points are known to cause hypoglycemia. If I don't eat for over 4 hours and I'm out doing anything (rare), it comes on pretty fast to the point of shaking and sweating uncontrollably and usually vomiting. Luckily, I have never actually passed out from this although there were several occasions where I felt like I was close. Like the shot bloks, these never really "fix" it, but it will tide me over until I can get some juice or a snack even though I try to always keep some with me.


    Also, because I love visuals of everything, here's a nice little table showing some of the things that develop with trigger points: 



    Nutribullet: Smoothies are nice. They're easy, healthy and the Nutribullet involves minimal effort and clean up. Sometimes prepping all the produce is too much work and I will freeze and make bags ahead of time, but I will go into that in detail in another post. 

    Waterfi: So it's been made clear that exercising is a crucial part of my recovery. However, I hardly find the motivation to do it (even though I know I have to), especially when I'm having pain. When you have pain, you end up illogically justifying things because of it. (I can't even begin to tell you.) Even though I love the water, I get bored repetitively swimming laps over and over again. With Waterfi, I can swim for much longer listening to motivational music (like the "Watch the Throne" album from Kanye & Jay-Z, like the white girl that I am) and almost even makes swimming fun for me when I would normally rather just hide in my bedroom than be caught dead at a public pool, in a Speedo with a limp. 

    Heating Pads and Ice Packs: This is just common sense. I've found there are certain kinds of pain that both heat and ice work for that are hard to articulate, but they do come in handy. According to Dr. Gerwin, there is a 10 min heat-10 min ice- 10 min heat strategy that helps a lot of people having and reducing bad spasms. While it didn't necessarily work for me, people seem to have a lot of luck with it. I like to get the biggest of both for maximum coverage. I keep heating pads right beside my bed because they never hurt, but can only help. I have this one. It covers almost my whole back and does the job. 

    (I refuse to put a picture of a heating pad here.)

    TENS Unit: If you've never had pain, seen a PT or chiropractor, you might not know what the fuck I'm talking about. This is an electric stimulation machine. Unless you want to spend hundreds to thousands of dollars on one, you can get a prescription from a pain specialist for one and insurance will cover it. This little machine is great. If you need to loosen tight muscles, it really helps. I took my script to my PT and they gave me one that is permanently mine. (Score.) You can also just rent them if you like. I have a representative from a company call me every few months to send me new pads and cords for it. 

    This is not my brand or the one I use, but generally this is what they look.
    Hamstring Stretcher: A hamstring stretcher is something that seems obvious to me now but, like most of the product in this post, took me awhile to end up getting. When you are hypermobile person, everything is stretchy (skin, muscles, joints, even veins, etc.), except hamstrings. This Joint Hypermobility Syndrome PDF was given to me by the nurse at Dr. Gerwin's and I reference it all the time because, like everything else I'm dealing with, doesn't have much explanation on the internet. Anyway, back to hamstrings. In my worst pain, I could only get these babies to stretch to the point of a generally inflexible man. (Maybe 60 degrees). It was the only thing I didn't "pass" (if you want to call it that) on the Beighton Score. (This link is a very basic one. There are more tests that rheumatologist and my Hopkins doctor do that include testing for Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, which is another form of hypermobility.) While this article says that hypermobile people should not be stretching before workouts (or ever) or doing most yoga (sad), they do advise to stretch the hamstrings. Bad hamstrings can lead to a lot of different things, including lower back/SI joint/sacroiliac pain. I used a hamstring stretcher similar to this. (I say "used" because my house is sometimes a black hole for all things and this was one thing that has mysteriously disappeared.) Now I mostly just use a similar one at PT when I'm in there and my hamstring flexibility is almost at 90 degrees now. Conveniently, my lower back pain has significantly decreased. 


    Netflix: This goes without saying and needs no explanation. Netflix is everything. It probably deserves a chronic pain award. It might even get it's own special post later on. (Try to hold back your excitement, guys.) 

    In the name of all that is holy.

    These are the most crucial things I can think of at the moment. I'm sure there are more. Actually, I know there are more. I've heard good things from pain people, but haven't used them personally. I will continue to update this as I think of more/use more things that help.