Saturday, July 26, 2014

On Haterz

Haters; the worst kind of people.

People who don't have chronic pain obviously have experience in dealing with haters too, but to be a dick to a person with chronic pain is a special kind of asshole. You know these people--these people are committed to misunderstanding you, never giving you the benefit of the doubt, no matter how many times you try explain yourself or the situation, they are just actively a douchebag.

And while many people have been incredibly sweet and supportive, over a span of the last and a half or so, has been a time where I have heard and had been told the worst things a person probably could hear about themselves. Some of which includes that I was "taking advantage of a convenient situation", was actually fired from my job and covering it up with "medical issues", "lazy and didn't want to work anymore", a burden, "breaking the family apart", etc. You get my drift. While I try to ignore all of these things being said, some of them are unfortunately forever permeated into my brain.

My best advice is to try to ignore it all and it's hard-- especially for someone like me, who is quick to rip someone's head off (usually) at the drop of any perceived thought of being slighted. Slowly, as I dealt more continually with this bullshit, I decided stewing over shitty peoples' shitty opinions of me wasn't worth the time and effort. I had/have bigger fish to try. Ain't nobody got time for that.

"Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace."
Because I am a person who is convinced that even if you're mad at someone, you are still holding a connection to them, I had decided to just conveniently forget a lot of people exist. For me, this works and is actually really helpful. If you can't trick your mind into like things like so, you'll end up very disappointed thinking everyone has the same heart you do.

But, some people, depending on situation and circumstance, are harder to try to ignore. While I usually always try to be mature and take the highroad, people like this deserve to periodically be fucked with and I have found one really great way to do this. 

Inspiration, for me, comes from everywhere, but Seinfeld is always full of good ideas. 

Around Christmas time I had seen this episode (like I had probably 10,000 times before) and a brilliant idea popped into my head. While I could never be bold/shitty enough to create my own "Human Fund", I remembered that, because of George, secretly, no one wants a donation made in their honor as a holiday present. This got me thinking. 

You could say studying at FIT, everyone who attended probably has an unofficial minor in "passive aggression". Although passive aggression is not my most preferred arsenal, it does come in handy time to time. Over the course of several years I have, independently (by several different people)  been referred to as the "evil genius mastermind from Saw".  I've never seen Saw before but I get where a comparison like that is going.  Like I said, people who truly suck deserve to be messed with.  Anyway, I digress. 

I think through foreshadowing you can sense where this is going. For Christmas, I decided give a donation to the American Chronic Pain Association to the tune of $75 in this person's "honor". This was great for several reasons: I looked like a super great person to everyone else (aww, charity--also a plus because I actually wanted to donate anyway) and it made this person continue to look like a douche. (Kills two birds with one stone.)

I wanted to write something really snarky in the card like "Thanks for being so helpful and supportive! You've really been super great through all of this!!!", but decided the gesture on its own had enough impact. Nothing passive aggressively says "fuck you" like a donation made in your honor to a charity of a person that you don't believe has any problems.  I also considered obnoxiously donating $5/week in his name, sending him cards weekly until I ran out of money. This idea ended up being too much effort for me, personally, but for all you determined people, by all means, go for it. 

My plan went off without a hitch. He was bewildered, confused and just basically completely mindfucked. In an awkward way to pretend like he appreciated the gesture made, I got a very awkward "Thaaaaank you?". Perfect.  This person will probably get donations made in his honor to ACPA every holiday for the rest of his life. 


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